March 17, 2010

A Humbling Moment

Posted in Stories at 8:48 pm by Tara

Yesterday, Hung and I got a rare opportunity to go for a long stroll sans enfants.  As we walked the “residential” neighbourhood of his parents, we passed a real estate office and he commented on the prices and how affordable it actually would be for us to live here if we chose to.  As he worked out the benefits and cost effectiveness of living in Hong Kong (and his stats rang true to many extents), I imagined what it would be like to move here without my family and friends.  I imagined how hard it would be to be away from the people I know and love and live life together with.  I thought about how I have to pray his way back to Vancouver.

And in that moment, I realized how much I have taken for granted in this marriage.  What I dreaded and feared as he dreamt of moving here, that is what Hung lives out.  Each time I am out late, Hung has no social network to connect with.  In those weeks (which are often) that I am out for more than 4 evenings, he comes home after a long day to the TV.  No wonder he loves his computers so much.  When he is burdened or weary he has only me (so if I am the one who is wearing him out, then what ?!?)

Lord, I thank you for revealing to me the depth of Hung’s heart.  I know that he is only dreaming right now.  I know that his logic and reasoning tells him that life is much more suitable for us as a family in Canada, but I also know how much he longs to be here in Hong Kong.

I pray that Hung develops a deep connection to our Lord.  I pray that by the power of God’s sovereignty, Hung can feel connected and comfortable in our home in Canada, just as much as he feels it here.  I know that only the strength of God is enough to overcome the attachment to our worldly lives.

But MOST OF ALL, I pray that God changes my heart.  Give me a selfless heart, Lord, that is willing to go whichever way You lead me – whether or not that is within the comfort of my known surroundings.  Regardless of where that may be, even if I know Hung will ultimately choose Vancouver, release my heart of selfish desire to change Hung’s attitude.  Instead, change me, and open MY heart, so I can show your love.

If I had a wish for this birthday, it would be that I could be a person who loves and gives unconditionally and selflessly.

Permalink